Are you in the company of the “Sandwich Generation”? By that, I mean persons who are both raising children and also caring for an aging parent.
If so, I expect that you’re experiencing a great deal of anxiety from the multitude of competing demands placed upon you all the time by your family - and that doesn’t even include the ones coming from your career and your manager.
Do you ever think you’re always giving to the other members of your family, leaving no time for yourself. You’re constantly taking the kids to school and sports functions, or taking your parents to doctors and other geriatric services, but you never seem to have any time to stop, breathe, put your feet up, and play golf, watch tv, or simply do nothing.
In fact, even if you could find a few minutes in your day to do such things, chances are you wouldn’t do them anyway, because doing so would make you feel guilty - as if you were neglecting your duty and your responsiblity to your family.
I used to feel that way too - that I was always the one who needed to surrender my time, energy and interests in order to take care of the family.
Then, one night I was watching the TV show, Baywatch - an episode where one of the lifeguards had swum out underneath a pier in very heavy seas, with the surf slapping forcefully against the pilings of the jetty. The rookie lifeguard came to the point where he realized that the current were so strong that they were forcing him and his rescued swimmer toward an inevitable collision with one of those posts.
His first thought was that he should locate his body between the injured swimmer and the pilings and let his body take the brunt of whatever impact might occur. But, then he understood that if he were to do that, he might be made unconscious - or otherwise, seriously harmed. If that were to happen, it was very likely that they would both die.
So, he quickly determined that if either of them had to get thrown up against the piling, it would have to been the person he was rescuing. He needed to remain strong, and alert, in order to ensure that they both made it to shore, and to safety.
I took a lesson from that episode, and have since applied it to my life in both personal and professional situations.
As strange as it may seem, when the caregiving situation is so critical, it is imperative that the caregiver remain healthy and strong. Not many of us are faced with the lifeguard’s decision about to allow to be banged around the pilings, but many of us are faced - frequently - with decisions about taking time for ourselves to rest, recuperate. and in general, to disentangle from the extreme demands of the caregiver’s days.
I encourage you to take the time necessary for yourself to keep your immune system in good physical shape, to keep your outlook positive and your spirits sunny; otherwise, you will not be helping the people you care most about, but rather, you will begin to add to the problems that are already present.
The meaning of this story is that the one who is responsible to ensure the well-being of others must be a little bit selfish when it comes to ensuring his or her mental and physical health - and continuing ability to take care of the rest of the family.
So, be sure to be kind to yourself - and don’t feel embarrassed about it when you do.
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